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~All about us~
I have always wanted someone in my life that loved me for me. Someone that could look past all of my imperfections, and see the "real me". I've had a lot of people in my life that claimed they did, but in the long run they ended up using me, or abusing me in some kind of a way. I was almost to the point where I was going to give up on men period, and that's when Carl came into the picture. At first I wasn't sure what I wanted. All I knew was I was tired of being hurt, and I didn't want to get close to someone and get hurt again. But from the first time I hung out with him I felt like I could trust him. It all started when my sister called me on August 14th, and said Carl wanted to know if he went to her house if I'd hang out with him on his birthday. I said sure just give me some time to get ready. We ended up getting some snack food, and some movies. He took me back home around midnight, and all I could do was think about how sweet he was. But at the time I had been seeing someone for 6 months, but that wasn't going anywhere. So, I was very confused also. Carl and I talked on the phone and online a few times after we hung out. I prayed every night that God would give me a signal as to who I should choose. Then one night as I was thinking about Carl, and how I love his blue eyes when all the sudden I remembered something my grandma told me when I was younger. She told me that one day I'd meet a man that would love me for me, and he wouldn't care about my disability, and it would probably be someone that I never thought of like that before. The first person I thought of was Carl. He has known my sister and her husband since they were 14, and he's known about me since I was little. But the first time I met him was when I was 15. Then he picked me up one day, and I went to his house, and hung out with him and his daughter. I wanted to kiss him at his house, but I was really shy. When he took me home he gave me a hug, and I ended up kissing him finally. I couldn't think of anything else but that kiss all day. Then he came to my house for my other sister's b-day on August 21st. He got me a card, and her a b-day card. The whole time he was there I found myself not wanting him to leave, but he had to work that day. I ended up calling him after work that night, and I realized he was the one I wanted to be with. Then we hung up and talked online for a while, and that's when I told him yes I'd be his girlfriend. We made plans that I'd go to his house that Wenesday and stay til Monday, but I dropped my plans I had Tuesday to come down a day early. After I got here I didn't want to leave, and that's when I moved in. In the next section I'll share how we fell in love.
~The love of my life~
At first I was afaird to fall in love again. It seems like every time I did I ended up hurt. I thought I'd be scared when or if I ever heard the words "I love you" from him. But one night while he was holding me he said I love you. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do. Then he said it's ok you don't have to say anything back right now I just needed you to know that, and I wont say it again til you are sure you love me. And then he said and if you never love me back that's ok just so you know I love you and always will. As I was looking into his eyes I said oh my God I just got deja vu. He asked about what. I said it seems like you've told me you loved me before. Then he told me maybe that's because while you were sleeping last night I whispered that in your ear. I thought about what he said for the next two days. Then all the sudden it hit me while I was talking to my best friend on the phone that I loved him too, and was very much in love with him. So, that night we were in bed holding each other and he asked do you love me. That's when I look into his eyes and said yes. It was the second best feeling in the world (being a mom is the first). I have never had a man look at me the way he does. When I look into his eyes I can tell he loves me, and is madly in love with me. I can tell by the way he looks at me, touches me, kisses me, and holds me that it's me and ONLY me he wants. When we are out in public he shows me the same affection that he shows when we are alone. He doesn't look at other women when I'm around, but that's because he has more respect for me than that. When we embrace I feel our connection so strong that it makes my heart race. I know we will have our problems like every relationship does, but I also know our love is strong enough to survive anything that comes our way. Baby I love you, my daughter, and your daughter with all my heart and soul. No matter what's going on in our lives I'll be by your side through it all. And that my friends is what you call "true love". It's about damn time I found it.
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